Thursday, November 26, 2009

My Reflection on Being 40...

So today I'm 40. It seems all throughout life you hear people talking about turning "40". Most seem to approach it with dread and fear. Me? I've actually been pretty excited about it.

Even as a teen I was always saying that I was "born to be 40", and that I believed that my life would begin at 40.

So now that it is here, how do I really feel? Am I still happy to be 40? Do I still feel that life is just beginning? Well, a year or two ago I did hit a bit of a panicked stage, realizing 40 was rapidly approaching, and I still hadn't accomplished the things I had expected to accomplish by 40. So I bought a house, and got over it! :)

It's not that I feel that life has just begun. I've had a wonderful life up to this point. I've had some wonderful people in the first half of my life. However I do feel that this is something of a rebirth for me. This is the start of my second life. I've been going through a sort of metamorphoses, and this is my shot at doing it all over again, and even better the second time around, now wiser and more patient, and now living my life with awareness and a consciousness that I lacked in my younger years. In my earlier years, it's as if I were on auto-pilot. I "reacted" to things and wasn't always aware of how I and my emotions and actions can affect others. Now I try to live a more proactive life rather than a reactive life, and I try to live consciously, aware of the impact that I make on the world and others around me-- and conscious of the consequences of my actions.

I feel strong and confident and empowered. (Do I hear "I am woman, hear me roar" playing in the background?) I'm glad to be 40. I'd never go back to 20 again!

Here's to second-zees (geeky Lord of the Rings reference)! Let's hope that the second life is even better than the first, and that this time I get it all right!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! And Happy 40th to me! Here's to 40 more!